Avoiding Burnout Without Being a Jerk to Yourself or Others.
Burnout and boundaries: especially for sensitive people, managing the flow of energy into and out of the systems of our bodies is essential. In my One-Year Groups and in my audio course Shining Bright Without Burning Out, we explore this dynamic and how our natural state of energetic porousness affects us and our relationships. As you can imagine, it brings up a lot.
Not being a jerk to you
Burnout risk decreases when we understand our energetic temperaments and the energetic dynamics in our relationships. When we can adjust our boundaries based on our situations, that risk goes down further. This learning and adjustment process can show our past and present in a new light. In the clarity of that light, we may face some harsh realizations. (You may also feel vindicated about some things, so take heart!) Part of this work is being decent to yourself: patient, kind, and compassionate. Take appropriate responsibility but don’t berate yourself over every perceived mistake or shortcoming.
Whatever missteps or triumphs you’ve had in the past, pain or successes you are experiencing now, those things are not you; they are experiences. They are the weather in your ecosystem at a given time. Your spiritual self is whole, shining, and sacred, just as you are. Simultaneously, there are tools to help you experience life more enjoyably for yourself and in relationship to others.
As we want to be respected, so we should be respectful. So often, we focus on what we need and think of boundaries as a way to protect ourselves from what’s coming toward us from the outside. But what is coming from us and moving toward others and the environment is equally important. And we have much more control of the flow in that direction. We should safeguard others from us as much as we safeguard ourselves from others, bringing integrity into our relationships and interactions wherever we go as much as we ask that of others. If we are fuming about something, how do we process our anger in a healthy way? Do we spew that rage all around, hold it in, or manage it responsibly? If someone we love is suffering, are we compassionate, or do we turn away? Do we overshare and overwhelm others or calibrate ourselves? The permeable membrane of our energetic boundaries always goes both ways.
Not being a jerk to others
In boundary work, we often have examples of who or what affects us from the other side. That can be complicated. You may find yourself thinking about people who pushed your boundaries painfully or people you felt so comfortable with it was like you didn’t need a boundary at all. In my classes, we work with energetic archetypes, and it can be illuminating to see those archetypal traits in ourselves and the people we are close to.
This can be part of a larger healing process, but it’s personal work. Like many other labels and categorizations, we shouldn’t apply it to others without permission. For example, it wouldn’t be cool to start telling people what you think their energetic archetypes are, even if it was helpful to you in trying to create healthier relationships with them, healthier boundaries, and ultimately avoid potential issues like burnout. It crosses a line to tell them who you think they are if they haven’t given permission or asked for input. Much can be taken out of context and can cause more harm than good. This applies to psychological diagnoses, of course. I’m amazed at how often I hear people casually diagnosing others outside of a therapeutic space, especially when people have not asked for input. It can be damaging, disrespectful, and unethical.
The more we understand the nuances of energetic boundaries, the more impact we can have on our everyday lives. I’m consistently hearing about how working with the tools in this framework of the energy ecosystem and Shining Bright Without Burning Out makes a big impact.