Hopeful Realism Spectrum, My Friend Daphne & Very Careless People

Hopeful Realism Spectrum, My Friend Daphne & Book Rec – Careless People

Rose-Colored Glasses or Blinders to Hope

Friends, where do you fall on this hopeful realism spectrum? On one end, those wearing the proverbial rose-colored glasses, shutting out reality that feels too hard to face, and on the other, those wearing blinders to mystery and hopefulness in the name of realism, camouflaging apathy and pessimism. Each position along the range has its own assets and liabilities. Ideally, as in most things, we strike a balance.

Those who overlook hard truths, stubbornly seeing every situation and person in the best possible light, are increasingly vulnerable to situations and people who prey on just such an attitude. Ignoring positive potentials and looking only for the downside in relationships and situations is exhausting, depressing, and makes us pretty unpleasant to be around. Being either oblivious or hypervigilant doesn’t change reality – or does it?

Balancing our levels of realism and hopefulness is a survival skill. As we face extremes of all kinds—war, weather, inequality, the breakdown of societal norms —being aware of the world in informed and discerning ways is necessary. Staying attuned to the beauty and kindness that exists allows us to care for ourselves and our communities in ways that welcome compassion and evolution into times that feel dark.  

Bluebirds, Bunnies, Goldfish

As spring unfolds, I’m reminded of how this season gives me hope, despite some small heartbreaks. The creatures of nature are role models for finding our place on the spectrum that encompasses hope/despair, optimism/pessimism, action/apathy. I describe a few of these scenarios (bluebirds, bunnies, and goldfish) in this article. Re the goldfish mentioned in the article: if you were the last one in the pond, what would you do? Give up? No! You’d swim around, protect the eggs, and repopulate your world. At least we hope you would. Your species would be counting on you. Animals press on despite loss, despite physical ailments, despite cataclysmic weather, despite loss of homes and food scarcity. Animals and plants do what they can with what they have.

My Friend Daphne

I’ll add another story of hope, which may seem trivial in compared to the extreme suffering happening right now, but is a small reminder for me of not giving up. Our little daphne bush had a couple spindly branches and the same very few leaves for many years; she was not growing. I didn’t know if she was dead or alive. Those few leaves were green though, so I finally dug her up out of the yard and transplanted her into a pot on the patio. I talked to her encouragingly. For several years, she looked the same – spindly branches, leaves never changing. Then one year, she grew some tender little leaves. She was alive!

The next year, a few more grew vibrant bright green. And a few more sprouted the year after that. This December she grew tiny flower buds. Daphnes are lovely, fragrant, winter-blooming plants, I was so excited. Then we got hit with an ice storm and the buds turned brownish. Oh well, maybe next year, I thought. But spring arrived, gently and emphatically as it does here, all at once, colorful and full of everything life giving. She bloomed pink blossoms all over. Daphne hung on and was finally thriving. Her sweet lemony fragrance blessed our patio. She’s still little, but she has many new leaves now and I’m so glad I didn’t toss her in a brush pile because she seemed like she wasn’t going to make it. (#comeondemocracyyoucandoit!)

Hopeful Realism

How are our individual corners of the world counting on us now? Let’s not give up on what we hold dear, the big and small things. Let’s be practical and hopeful. Let’s protect ourselves and our loved ones by looking as clearly as possible at what is, even if it’s painful. Let’s stay open to the best and highest possibilities without prematurely stomping out the potential for peace and beauty to fill our world. Hopeful realism puts us in an ideal position to bring about change.

I wish you, and all beings, peace and the sweet fragrances of spring,

Book Recommendation

Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed and Lost Idealism

by Sarah Wynne Williams

Careless People is a must read if you use Facebook, Instagram, or any Meta product. It reads like a novel, a scandalous, page-turning quick read. Horrifying.

This author gives me hope with her courage in speaking up. She struggled when her idealism crashed into a brutal reality, and she did something about it. The reality may be grim, but we have some power to change it with our choices.

“Careless People is darkly funny and genuinely shocking…Not only does [Sarah Wynn-Williams] have the storytelling chops to unspool a gripping narrative; she also delivers the goods.” -Jennifer Szalai, The New York Times

“When one of the world’s most powerful media companies tries to snuff out a book — amid other alarming attacks on free speech in America like this — it’s time to pull out all the stops.” –Ron Charles, The Washington Post

An explosive memoir charting one woman’s career at the heart of one of the most influential companies on the planet, Careless People gives you a front-row seat to Facebook, the decisions that have shaped world events in recent decades, and the people who made them.

Hopeful Realism